Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
If a woman tells you she’s twenty and looks sixteen, she’s twelve. If she tells you she’s twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she’s damn near forty.
A man is only as faithful as his options.
I love music. Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.
Women would rule the world – if only they’d stop bitchin’ about each other.