When life gives you lemons don’t make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.
If you feel like there’s something out there that you’re supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
Mostly everything gets worse before it gets better.
If you’re passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
I don’t like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.
I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.
It’s not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.
Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.
It’s easier to rip somebody to shreds while you’re making them laugh.