100+ Witty Captions For Instagram That Are Clever

If you’re looking for some witty captions to add to your Instagram photo, I’ve got you covered. These Instagram captions have been found to be successful by other social media users. And they definitely do the job of making you look wittier!

You can’t expect to get thousands of likes with your Instagram photos. But you can look to add some wit to your captions and make people stop and read them. Witty captions will do the trick!

Here are 100+ witty captions for Instagram.

Witty Captions

1. One minute of reconciliation is worth than a whole life of friendship.
2. All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
3. No power and no treasure can outweigh the extension of our knowledge.
4. Nothing is hidden from the eyes of the observing world.
5. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppose.
6. Not everything that is faced can be changes, but nothing can be changes until it is faced.
7. To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.
8. The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which means never losing your enthusiasm.
9. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.
10. Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate, and hate leads to violence. This is the equation.
11. All human knowledge begins with intuitions, proceeds from thence to concepts, and ends with ideas.
12. Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.
13. Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
14. Time is the wisest of all things that are; for it brings everything to light.
15. The beauty of creatures is nothing other than an image of the divine beauty in which things participate.
16. Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.
17. Chaos often breed life, when order breeds habit.
18. A man comes to measure his greatness by the regrets, envies and hatreds of his competitors.
19. That which is false troubles the heart, but truth brings joyous tranquillity.
20. Reading makes a full man, meditation a profound man, discourse a clear man.

Witty Captions for Instagram

21. The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat. – Lily Tomlin
22. People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov
23. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. – Mark Twain
24. The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. – Bertrand Russell
25. Fools learn from experience. Wise men learn from the experience of others. – Otto von Bismark
26. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about. – Wayne Dyer
27. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. – Mark Twain
28. There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done. – Peter F. Drucker
29. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions. – Criss Jami
30. Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace. – Robert J. Sawyer
31. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. – George Washington
32. We have art in order not to die of truth. – Friedrich Nietzsche
33. It is not unity that we must seek but collective consciousness. – Molefi Kete Asante
34. To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth. – Voltaire
35. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward. – Soren Kierkegaard
36. If you want the present to be different from the past, study the past. – Spinoza
37. The wise only possess ideas; the greater part of mankind are possessed by them. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge
38. He who sees all beings in his own self and his own self in all beings loses all fear. – Upnishads
39. Keep in mind always the present you are constructing. It should be the future you want. – Alice Walker
40. The meaningless absurdity of life is the only incontestable knowledge accessible to man. – Leo Tolstoy

Witty Instagram Captions for Selfies

41. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. – Steven Wright
42. We are all born crazy. Some of us remain that way. – Samuel Beckett
43. It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. – Thomas Sowell
44. I’d rather have 1% of the effort of 100 men than 100% of my own effort. – J. Paul Getty
45. Circumstances don’t make the man, they only reveal him to himself. – Epictetus
46. Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. – Laozi
47. Rather fail with honor than succeed with fraud. – Sophocles
48. Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. – Mark Twain
49. Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are. – Niccolo Machiavelli
50. Within you there is a stillness and sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself. – Herman Hesse
51. Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but stupid lasts forever. – Aristophanes
52. Our own heart, and not other men’s opinion, forms our true honor. – Samuel Coleridge
53. One who makes himself a worm cannot complain afterwards if people step on him. – Immanuel Kant
54. Never speak so loud that you neglect to listen.
55. The man of principle does not forget who he is because of what others are. – Baltasar Gracian
56. Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better. – Mays Angelou
57. Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what is is, and you must bend to its power of live a lie. – Miyamoto Musashi
58. Those who do good because they want to be seen to be good are not good. – Lieh Tzu
59. Do not let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace. – Dalai Lama
60. The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts. – John Locke

Short Witty Captions for Instagram

61. Arguing with a fool proves there are two. – Doris M. Smith
62. Silence is argument carried out by other means. – Che Guevara
63. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. – Bryan White
64. The truth can be funny but it’s not funny to cover up the truth. – Ryan Cooper
65. You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. – Solomon Schechter
66. An intellectual solves a problem. A genius avoids it. – Albert Einstein
67. You can pretend to be serious; but you can’t pretend to be witty. – Sacha Guitry
68. Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth. – Stan Laurel
69. Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. – Confucius
70. Never miss a good chance to shut up. – Will Rogers
71. Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. – Confucius
72. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
73. The Best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend. – Abraham Lincoln
74. Action will destroy your procrastination. – Og Mandino
75. We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are. – Anais Nin
76. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. – Mark Twain
77. Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe. – Mark Twain
78. The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. – Dorothy Parker
79. A person with a sharp tongue will eventually cut themselves. – J. Robson Koenig
80. Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor. – Francis Bacon

Witty Instagram Captions for Guys

81. Desire makes slaves out of kings, and patience makes king out of slaves. – Al-Ghazali
82. The deeper sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence. – Aldous Huxley
83. Please all, and you will please none. – Aesop
84. It takes a wise man to discover a wise man. – Diogenes
85. It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company. – George Washington
86. Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent. – Adam Smith
87. Never argue with someone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf. – Emilia Clarke
88. He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures. – Friedrich Nietzsche
89. Even a poor man feels like a king when he marries the right woman.
90. Those who cry the loudest are not always the ones who are hurt the most. – Aesop
91. It is easier than to build a strong children than to repair a broken men. – Friedrich Nietzsche
92. The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him. – Arthur Schopenhauer
93. You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are the wiser today than yesterday. – Jonathan Swift
94. A wise man fills his brain emptying his mouth. – African Proverb
95. When in doubts tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. – Mark Twain
96. If we are true to ourselves, we can not be false to anyone. – William Shakespeare
97. The measure of a man is what he does with power. – Plato
98. If a man kows more than others, he becomes lonely. – Carl Jung
99. Nobody is going to pour truth into your brain, It’s something you have to find out of yourself. – Noam Chomsky
100. Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. – Napoleon Bonaparte
101. Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. – Voltaire

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